Toilet Moment Live

There's a toilet sitting on the sidewalk at the corner of Bonnie Brae and Hickory.

You know what to do(o doo).

if you weren't pooping

Before watching you will be afterwards






i hate to say i told you so

enjoy

click the title link...

-sash

myyystterrryy google

This is pretty neat. Type a search into Mystery Google and you'll get the person's answers who searched right before you. For example, I entered a search last night and recieved results that said "call (some phone number i can't remember) and sing a backstreet boys song"...

fun, fun shit.

making your shit more fun.

-sash

lack a daisy? cool!

who flosses anyways

wing of my swing
rib of my ribald
hip of my ship
sum of my absumption
ability of my liability
ration of my adoration
up of my hiccup

mile of my smile
mitten of my smitten
om of my aroma
ew of my jew
pace of my carapace
apple of my dapple
cap of my capacious
spoon of my spoonerism
and poon of my spoon,of course
science of my nescience
sigh of their being anything scientific to study


pound of my propound
bit of my probity
tic of my gesticulate
lent of my repellent
vine of my devine

lid of my stolid
arch of my March
comb of my coxcomb
egg of my legging
ebb of my webbster

etch of my kvetch
Ono of my sonority
latitude of my platitude
audability of my laudability
chant of my penchant

aint of my paint
ux of my crux
quil of my tranquil
pea of my peace

and pod of my i-pod
yes of my yes,please
lease of my please
arrow of my marrow
art of my heartbeat

i am pooping
i am squeezing together the cheeks as to pinch off the remaining bit
i am tightening the stomach
again i am squeezing together the cheeks as to pinch off the remaining bit
i am hearing a slight plooping sound
and now, i am free

A Bun Dance

happy happy joy joy,
im on the potty and getting
paid.
now thats whats i call abundance
ya hear what i
said.

The first time I was in a brothel, I thought, It’s awfully dim in here.

i have found a superior exit strategy.
remove.
sit.
release.
relax.





....wipe

prelude to a moment

not on the toilet but in the lab damnit i need to shit i scream inside my head nobody hears that but they fuckin sure hear my stomach mouthin off jewish rubbish like it's dj tiesto's latest moog or something. tiny little brown babies are being held hostage inside of me right now. their is a turd inside of everyone. let it out today. join me. well i can't right now, god damnit. well, fuck. shit. im waiting here with a turd beggin, pleadin for freedom, a breath of fresh air. beggin for a new life in the sewer or maybe eventually the ocean, could make freinds with an octopus and admire shimmery bedrock and he could finally smoke all the seaweed hes been itchin for. I could let this turd out on parole...(to be continued)it's time to go! your almost here! three cheers for shit! to Haydn! to Mozart! to going cam mo! to glory to god ! seat, until we meet again i can assure you is what my ass just whispered.

King of the Hill

jimmy carefully fondled his new iCool ®
his personality catheter connected to 5 Gig of nano presence
jimmy thought he has at least a days worth music right their in his pucking falm.
oh, i love how my hair flaps and flails in the wind as i walk by, as if it were waiving hello to the curious bystander anxiously awaiting Jimmy's rock n stroll

"i bet theyll think Im listening to Fugazi...or no no wait what if they think Im listening to the friday nachos or the stills...dude if somebody walks by me im sly enough that i can turn the dial on this here pod,(a conductor ,nay! composer! yes beethoven demanding more crescendo must be at fortissimo so i can promote my interests , you know i got all 134,746,3948,3838 gig worth sonic blasts' early only stuff.) and right when the chorus kiks into the 12th dimension ima shift my eyes to the horizon and im going to raise the right side of my bottom lip to jump over the hurdle of losers polluting this fucking shithole and carve cool all over my glowing aura ima gonna smirk at the ground and im gonna walk at a hauntingly relaxed pace, i'll even maintain my cool when i open the door 4 minutes late to french class and my blank face will ululate "that kid looks like he knows a thing or two about steve albini", and when the teacher asks for my work my reply is going to abate the infrastructure of value the professor scrambled to impart. Richard Wright is going to raise himself from the grave and he is going to fucking call me up on the phone today and ask me to rewrite his songs when i part my lips and calmly guide the air out, my reply will come swirling like spirals of smoke, and once the sound makes it to ever ones ears it takes hardly a moment to realize Jimmy had just negated the teachers unbiased proposal. here came the shining glory moment of truth for jimmy as his body language would go along ways in confirming his unbelievably low stress level in a case involving such easygoing forgetfulness as this one, any other charecter would have gulped we are sure. butnot jimmy. he said/."no, dont got it" and everyone thought "well now hes gonna shrug cause hes that kind of guy" but no! fuck no! not jimmy, o god, the class was in for it now. jimmy pulled the ace of spades out of his ass and flung it straight at the most shy kid in the classes throat, slicing him into bits that he would later package and seal n deal to his pet kit kat . later she would try to show a powerpoint online but jimmy had hacked into her computer the night before and replaced all the slides with pictures of people having intercourse. she blushed and he snapped his fingers and his backpack tied the teacher down to a table and jimmy was like "goin to the store, want anything" she said "pack cig s" he said "fuck you right? " and the fattest motherfucker in the entire universe shit everywhere, on everything, from every directions, spread to other classes, then it flooded the entire city and it bloomed outward like a cocoon splitting ends. to other cities, to other countries, entire rain forest gone in a splash. the paint peeled off of the white house. mahlers symphonies were lost in the final gathering of a truly astounding phenomena rarely eperienced in all 3 dimensions. retards were reborn. christ choked on the fumes and fell butt naked onto the pavement, finally dead. finally. jimmy snapped his finger again and everything was sucked back up into the anal vacuum of his fattest cohort and right before jimmy let the class continue it's limited droll, he shoveled his head to the right ,lit a cigarette and exhaled "Pavement's bass player 1876 circa rose floyd stomp pedal led tuner ,look it up bitch" jimmy blew out the candle of oppression and stomped his foot on a dod grunge pedal with a battery he pick pocketed from the 711 earlier that evening and licked his lips when he cuddled with the warm glass of certainty(80 proof) he poured for himself later that day