tb

3 Pages

by Ted Berrigan
Ted Berrigan

For Jack Collom
10 Things I do Every Day

play poker
drink beer
smoke pot
jack off
curse

BY THE WATERS OF MANHATTAN

flower

positive & negative

go home

read lunch poems

hunker down

changes

Life goes by
quite merrily
blue
NO HELP WANTED

Hunting For The Whale

“and if the weather plays me fair
I’m happy every day.”

The white that dries clear
the heart attack
the congressional medal of honor
A house in the country

NOT ENOUGH

hilary routon c. 2007

once upon a time there was a little poodle named james. james was a happy little poodle. james had lots of friends, lots of fur, and lots of fun with his fur and friends! he liked to go to the dog park with his master, kyle, and check out all the lovely girl poodles. ...one day he was at the park, playing frisbee with master kyle, when he came across a beautiful daschund. james couldn't help himself....and so he decided to go right up to this beautiful daschund and say,"woof, woof!" the daschund stared at him for a few seconds, but then replied with another "woof, woof!" james knew at this point that the daschund was his soul mate. the daschund's name....james later found out....was chick. chick-fil-a. james and chick became inseparable. they went everywhere together! they went to petsmart, best buy, ross, starbucks, tuesday morning, friday night, guilford college, preakness place, texaco, lowe's....everywhere! they had a hell of a time, and no one could tell them or bark them differently. BUT one day an evil, evil, evil, evil woman came along named clappy. clappy was so evil that no one would clap anymore in her presence, for fear that it would upset her and she would set a curse upon them. clappy had been watching the 2 dogs strutting along happily together for weeks now, and she suddenly decided that she didn't like all this lovey-doveyness. "NO!" said clappy. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I say NOOOOOOOOO!" Clappy was a woman of few words. But none the less, clappy decided to curse the 2 dogs. so one day clappy went into the dog park disguised as an innocent young girl with curly blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and fed james and chick rat poison. fake rat poison. fake rat poison that was actually an advil. "hahahahaha, you dogs can't take an advil, you will die! it's human medicine!" exclaimed clappy after james and chick had consumed the fake rat poison.
"woof....woof, woof!" james barked triumphantly at her.
and then clappy died instantly. she was gone forever. the whole town rejoiced.
james and chick trotted off into the distance, dog...-kissing one another, happy at their defeat of clappy and the continuation of their love for one another.
the end.